discerning purpose & random thoughts on philippians 4:6-13

I have a purpose. Some days it is much clearer than others and sometimes I like to tell myself that I am on some journey towards my grand purpose and that I haven't really found it out yet. Today I am realizing my purpose may not be as singular and finite as I once imagined. Today I am deep within my purpose, living it and breathing it and watching it change, grow, and beautify as it brings me closer to my savior. A good friend mentioned in their blog a couple weeks ago something about realizing that Jesus physically walked with them throughout the day. This truth has radically changed the way I view my relationship with Jesus. Realizing how much he has invested in his relationship with me cannot allow me to stay the same. It cannot allow me to continue to view my life as a purposeless journey towards something purposeful.

What does the above picture have to do with my purpose? Something that I feel particularly called to these days.
*A means to express my purpose for God: God has brought Relevant into my life in such a real way that I cannot ignore God working in my life towards a realization of my gifts and purpose and where my place is within his kingdom. The quiet selfish dream I had for years has suddenly become a loud and desperate movement within my heart to do something gigantic for God and his people.

Okay, so I still didn't really answer the question of what the picture has to do with anything.
*This adorable family is the Watsons. Not only did they follow God's call to start Relevant, but they have been a big part of our lives in many ways. Travis & Kathy traveled with us all the way to Mexico to marry Matt & I and have been a huge support to both of us as well as great friends along with the rest of the awesome people involved in Relevant.

*I took this picture of Travis & Kathy with their two youngsters on my trip out to Williamsburg this summer to help start the process of building up Relevant on my end. I love this picture not only because I think it captures the essence of their family but because it also speaks to me of the blessing I have been given by God to capture these moments in peoples' lives. I can't ignore the fact that my everyday normal regular old life is part of God's purpose for me. Everyday he is giving me new ways to reach him and new people to show his light to. This is a responsibility that I have easily overlooked telling myself that my day to day life really isn't that important and my actions and love only count when it comes down to the wire. How easy it is for me to tell myself this.

As a result, I believe, of ignoring the importance God places on every moment of my life, I have allowed myself to become discouraged, scared, anxious, and worried about parts of my life that I do not always have control over. What will my future be like? Why do I not feel like I want to feel right now? etc. etc. etc. This part of my life became a big part of me a couple years ago where I would (and still) have little "episodes" of feeling completely out of control of my emotions, fear, and anxiety. Living with accepting this as part of my personality has been a long road of learning how to "deal with it."

Then the other day after I was done listening to the Mars Hill Church recording on "Pan's Labyrinth" I listened to one of their sermons entitled "Rebels Guide to Joy on Anxiety." First of all, this church must have some very patient members because all of their sermons are like 75 minutes long (whoa) but anyway, after fast forwarding through the first half or so I was struck by a little tidbit where the pastor mentioned anxiety as akin to worshiping a false idol in the same way we worship money, fame, friends, whatever. I'm thinking, what a jerk, he's telling me that my anxiety problems are a sin to repent of...what? This is something I don't need or want to hear.

Now as he goes on he agrees with me that sometimes some of this may be completely out of my control but there is a good part of it where I have begun to feel sorry for myself. Why do I feel like this? Why can't I feel better? Why does everything in my life feel out of place? blah blah blah...and suddenly my focus is 100% on me 100% of the time and I have no idea how I got there and getting my life worked out is 100% more important than anything God would desire of me. And here is what God commands of me in these moments:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:6-13


Who knew God knew the answers all along. Hmm, duh.